


A Bonding Experience

by superdanganisland



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Gen, Humor, Island Mode, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3088127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superdanganisland/pseuds/superdanganisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monokuma sets up a game for all the students on the island to keep himself entertained one day, and when two certain boys find themselves caught up in some of his shenanigans, they’re gonna need to learn how to get along with each other and fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bonding Experience

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly Souda/Gundam fluff ahead (if you could call it that. it’s something.) Set in an Island Mode AU where Monokuma is in charge of the field trip instead of Monomi, because he's more fun
> 
> This is another one cross-posted from my tumblr but written a few months before that. I had originally written a tiny portion of this a long time ago purely for my own stupid amusement and it had no real beginning or end, but since the soudam tag could always use some content and I’m sure you guys could find some entertainment in this I decided to fix it up and post it.
> 
> I think this was actually partially inspired by some fanart I'd seen ages ago and must've stuck in the back of my mind and I didn't even realize it until I saw the picture again, which I'll link at the bottom of this fic for spoiler reasons.

The students met for breakfast that morning as they usually did before a long day of work. It had been a peaceful week or so on Jabberwock Island despite the arrival of Monokuma, though his frequent antics _did_ somewhat drive the students up the wall. In between their daily chores, it was always one thing or another that he was scheming up, and today would be no different.

As they were finishing eating, Monokuma suddenly came on the monitors.

“EMERGENCY! CHANGE OF PLANS! TODAY'S GATHERING ACTIVITIES ARE CANCELLED. EVERYONE TO THE BEACH, ASAP!!” The sixteen of them exchanged puzzled glances before reluctantly obeying the bear’s words and heading outside.

As they arrived at the beach, the students assembled together in a couple of neat rows a few yards away from Monokuma, who was perched up on a stump. He had a small sack next to him.

“You called?” Togami said.

Monokuma straightened up and cleared his throat. “Upupupu! Listen here, you bastards. You guys are completely and utterly boring me with all this ‘friendship’ and ‘getting along’ junk. Today we’re gonna be doing something a little different,” he spoke with a devious glare in his beady little eyes that could only mean trouble for the group of sixteen students. His words made the group shift uneasily.

Hinata took a deep breath. “…What is it this time?”

“Don’t sound so excited, Hinata,” he replied. “I’ve got a _super_ -special extracurricular activity lined up for this afternoon, one worthy of the Monokuma stamp of approval. It’s a little something called Capture the Kuma.”

“Like… capture the flag, you mean?” Nidai asked.

“No. Maybe. But with slightly more bears. It’s a traditional game played back on my ursine homeland.”

“You’re not talking… REAL bears, right?” Souda pulled at his collar nervously. “Look, I’ve put up with everything else you’ve thrown at us but I ain’t playin’ no game with real bears. I gotta draw the line.”

“What do you talking about? There’s a real bear right in front of you!” Monokuma said, gesturing at himself. “Are your eyes just there for decoration?!”

“Pfft, you’re not a real bear! You’re just some stuffed toy!” Saionji scoffed.

 “Not a… real bear…?” Monokuma suddenly grew quiet, putting a paw up to his face and glancing over to the side for a few moments before raising his voice back up to a shout. “Listen here, you little punks! I didn’t come all the way out here to have an existential crisis this early in the morning!” He hopped off of his stump and began waddling towards the group with his tiny arms held up threateningly.

Hinata attempted to pacify him. “Alright, alright, she was just kidding! You’re a real bear!”

 “Of course I am, I knew that all along,” he said calmly. “Anyway, no, you’re not playing with real bears. They didn’t make it past the round of latest budget cuts so you’re gonna have to make do with just me. You see, I’ve hidden a bunch of cardboard Monokumas all over the island and it’s your job today to find them all before sundown.”

“Until… sundown? You’re going to have us doing this all day?” Pekoyama asked.

“Yeah, what’s the deal?” Koizumi added.

“You didn’t let me FINISH!!” Monokuma roared. He forced out an obnoxiously loud sigh. “My, my, you kids are rude to your _sensei_. Look, I’m splitting you into two teams, the _black_ team and the _white_ team, representing my flawless color scheme. There’s gonna be 25 Monokuma cutouts hidden around the island in total, and whoever’s team has the most by sundown wins, or whoever has the most after they’ve all been found. Once you find one, you need to bring it back to a designated safe spot that belongs to your team, a.k.a. your base. Oh, and there’s gonna be none of this ‘tag and you’re out’ bullshit in this version, because we’re playing this with bear rules. If you encounter another player with a Monokuma in their possession, you’re free to fight over it however you please. Punch ‘em. Kill ‘em. I don’t care. Break their legs a little.”

“What’s the catch?” Togami asked. “What do we get for doing this?”

“What do you get? Of course, of course. The winners will be getting a very hip-and-cool prize in the form of ‘All-U-Can-Eat’ Monokuma Curry lovingly crafted by my own bear hands for the remainder of the trip _and_ a whole heap of Monocoins to buy all the weird crap you could ever ask for from the Monomono machine. The losers? You guys have to hang out with Monomi for a whole day. Oh, and you also have to be my personal servants for 24 hours, and you’re gonna be cleaning up the entire island for me, because this place looks like a disaster area.”

“What the fuck! You can’t make us do that!” Kuzuryuu exclaimed.

“All this work for Monokuma curry?! What a garbage prize! You may as well give that to the losers!” Hanamura grimaced.

 “Well you better win, then!” Monokuma said. “Hope you losers are good at mixing cocktails, because I’m gonna need a lot of them after dealing with _you_ naughty, ungrateful children all day!” He waggled a finger at all of them.

“Do we get to pick our own teams?” Souda asked. “Because in that case-“

“No, of course not! We’re drawing names out of a hat. _Your_ hat. Toss that over here.”

 “What?! No!” He grasped both sides of the hat and pulled it down.

 “…Souda. I’ve got an extra-special punishment for students who don’t listen to their teacher, you know.” His red eye flashed threateningly.

“Huh?! Alright, jeez, take it!” He whipped the black beanie off his head and tossed it into the sand at Monokuma’s feet.

“Thank you kindly,” he said, picking it up to brush the sand off. “I’ve already made the little scraps of paper with your names on it, so let’s begin.” He took a heap of papers out of his sack and dumped them into the hat, closing the opening and shaking them around a bit.

“…Just gimme that back when you’re done, alright?”

The students listened intently as he began drawing the names. “Here we go. On the black team _iiiiiis_ … Kuzuryuu… Soooouda…Miooooda… Tanaka, Pekoyama… Koizumi, Hinata, annnnd… Nanami!” The eight of them looked around at their new teammates as Monokuma dumped the rest of the names into the sand and flung the hat back at Souda. “The white team is Komaeda, Saionji, Nidai, Hanamura, Sonia, Owari, Tsumiki, and Togami. But I’m sure you could have figured that out by process of elimination.”

“It is decided. I, Togami, will guide our team to victory,” the heir spoke confidently.

“Heck yeah! That curry’s all mine!” Owari beamed.

“What the heck! That’s not fair! They got both the jocks on the same team?” Souda said as he adjusted his hat back over his hair, referring to Nidai and Owari. “And Sonia-san’s on the other team too?! C’mon! This is so rigged!”

“I think this is a perfectly fine setup, if I do say so myself,” Sonia said. “…Though I would not mind a few of you others on our team, I believe we are perfectly capable of winning!”

“Hey, no complaints!” Monokuma shouted over them.  “Teams are final, so no switching! If you break the rules I’ll kick your ass!”

“When do we begin?” Nanami asked politely.

“Right now! Get to your bases!” he barked. He took a small black flag out of his sack and stuck it into the ground near his stump. “The black team’s base is right here on the beach while the white team’s is on the other side of the island. I’ve already set up your flag, so all you have to do is find it. Once you’re there, I’ll announce the start of the game on the monitors. Now HURRY UP! SHOO! GET OUTTA HERE!!” He chased after the white team until they sprinted off in the other direction.

The remaining eight stood around awkwardly as they waited for the announcement. Pekoyama was the one to step forward initially and take the leadership position. “So… are we devising a strategy before we begin? I believe it would be in our best interest.”

“…Yeah, I suppose. But what?” Hinata asked.

“We should go out in groups of two in case we get jumped,” Souda said. “Since you know, some of those guys on the other team are tougher than we are.”

“That’s stupid. We’d cover half as much ground that way. It’d be better if we all split up and fanned out across the island,” Kuzuryuu said.

“Stupid?!” Souda exclaimed. “You wanna be the one to run into Nidai alone in the woods?”

“Well, you better know how to fuckin’ run!”

“Ibuki will run as fast as she can!” a cheerful voice chimed in.

“Enough,” Pekoyama interrupted them. “Kuzuryuu’s right. We need to cover as much ground as possible as quickly as possible. No one here is foolish enough to seriously injure another player just for one of Monokuma’s dreadful prizes, so we shouldn’t worry ourselves too much with defense.”

Tanaka smirked. “Truly. I can also send my Four Dark Gods of Destruction out as scouts to uncover the locations of the hidden-“

Before he could finish, Monokuma popped back into their circle out of nowhere. “Nu-uh! No hamsters! That’s cheating!”

“Wha-?!”

“That’s final! Goodbye!” He disappeared just as quickly as he had arrived, leaving the breeder utterly speechless.

“Well… I suppose you could leave them here at our base. They should be safe here,” Koizumi said.

Tanaka turned towards the stump and then back at her with a stern expression on his face. “… _Should_ be safe? You mean, _will be._ ”

“Ha, yes, of course!” she replied anxiously.

His face softened at bit. “Of course. They know how to take care of themselves for a short amount of time. But as a reminder, if any harm is to befall upon these four at the hands of one of you fiends, not even the fires of Hell itself would rival the punishment I would unleash upon you.”

“We’ll come back every once in a while to check on them, okay?” Nanami said reassuringly. The breeder nodded.

“That is fine.”

Pekoyama spoke up again. “The game should be starting soon, so let’s decide who is going where initially. If you don’t find anything in your area, you’re free to roam wherever.”

“Sounds good to me,” Kuzuryuu said. Pekoyama quickly drew out a crude map of the island in the sand and pointed out where each player was to go. Beyond the developed parts, a large portion of the island was wild jungle and mountains, and that was most likely where Monokuma had hidden a large number of his cardboard likenesses to make things difficult for them.  Almost as soon as they had finished, a familiar ear-grating voice came out of a nearby speaker.

“HELLO? MIKE CHECK! MIKE CHECK!” it screeched. “Whatever, I know you bastards are all listening. Now I just have _one_ more thing to add before we start.”

“Great…” Hinata said, folding his arms together.

Monokuma continued. “I _may_ have forgotten to mention that I laid out a series of booby traps across the entire island. You know, to keep things interesting.”

“What? Booby traps?! Are you kidding me?!” Souda exclaimed.

“…Nothing too extreme, but if you get caught up in one, you might be a _bit_ tied up for the remainder of the game! So keep your eyes peeled and don’t get caught!”

“He’s got stuff set up that’ll take us out of commission for the whole _game_? What the hell does he have out there?” Kuzuryuu said.

“…Anyways, now that everyone’s at their bases, it’s show time! I’ll be announcing the score at regular intervals. Now LET THE GAMES BEGIN!”

The monitor blinked off, and after a brief moment of confusion, the players scrambled out of their starting position and in the directions of their proposed search area.

The first few minutes resulted in a flurry of scores as the respective teams found the easiest Monokumas. There was surprisingly little conflict outside of a couple of brief chases here and there.  After about a half-hour, the score was 7-5, with the black team in the lead. Their extra few minutes of strategizing had evidently paid off. Once each player got tired of searching in their designated area, they began to break off and search other parts of the island.

Little did the black team realize, one player within their ranks was forming plans to betray them.

Souda walked by himself amongst a thick patch of jungle, his eyes darting around at every motion in the trees. The island was surprisingly large outside of the urbanized area, and it would be easy for someone to get lost in the wilderness if they weren’t familiar with the terrain. Despite the scores, Souda had yet to find a single Monokuma, though in actuality he wasn’t terribly happy that his team was winning. He muttered to himself. “Sonia’s team can’t lose… there’s no way… there’s no way I’m gonna let Monokuma punish Sonia-san with the rest of those guys!” He paused for a moment, making sure no one was in earshot.  “…I know! I’ll bring all the Monokumas I find to Sonia-san! There’s no way she won’t totally appreciate me then!” His mind began drifting off as he daydreamed about Sonia showering him in praise, briefly forgetting his surroundings as he wandered through the woods.

A sudden loud snapping noise sent him careening back into reality. He stopped in his tracks and swung his entire body towards the source of the noise, his eyes widened in alert.

More crashing sounds. A flash of silver. It sounded like a freight train was coming at him.

“UWOAAHH!! Oh shit! Oh shit!” he exclaimed. “It’s Nidai!!” He turned to bolt in the other direction but the beast of a man was already on top of him. Before he could even react, he felt a pair of large hands snatch him under the arms and hoist him high into the air.

“Gyahahaha! Fancy seeing you here, Souda!” Nidai bellowed. “You know, that color scheme of yours ain’t doing you any favors out here! You look like a pack of highlighters!”

Souda screamed. “AGGGHHHHHHHH!! PUT ME DOWN!! I HAVEN’T EVEN DONE ANYTHING!! DON’T BREAK MY LEGS!!”

“I don’t think so, Souda! I’m going to personally hand deliver you over to our home base, and then maybe we’ll keep you there for a while as our prisoner while the rest of us find those hidden Monokumas!” Nidai said a little too enthusiastically for Souda’s taste and threw the mechanic over his shoulder like a damsel in distress. He kicked wildly and beat his fists against the larger man’s back in vain.

“No! Stop it! I’ve got stuff to do! People to see!!” he shouted furiously. “Nidai!!”

“Gyahaha, nice try! But I-“

_*snap*_

Neither of them saw the obscured ring of rope on the forest floor that Nidai had carelessly stepped in. The act of pressing his weight down in the circle had apparently triggered some type of mechanism hidden amongst the trees, and before he could even finish his sentence, the loop instantly tightened around his ankle and forcefully yanked him upwards causing Souda to drop to the unforgiving ground with a harsh yelp. It took him a few seconds to regain his composure before realizing what had happened. It was one of Monokuma’s booby traps.

“Unbelievable! What power!” Nidai exclaimed, clearly in a bit of shock but taking it surprisingly well. He was suspended comically a few feet off the ground by a rope that had been draped over a large tree branch, with a large boulder tied to the other end providing a counterbalance to keep him there. As expected from someone like Monokuma, it was completely over-the-top and looked as though he had stolen the idea from a cartoon. If Nidai hadn’t grabbed Souda first, it would have likely been the mechanic hanging from that tree by the ankle.

“…Ha! Ha ha ha! That’ll show ya!” Souda laughed nervously, picking himself up off the ground and brushing the dirt off his jumpsuit.

“No wait! Listen, Souda! If you cut me down from here, I’ll let you go free!”

“It’s too late now! You had your chance!” He whirled around and began bounding away from the scene through the dense brush.

“I’ll even give you one of our Monokumas! SOUDA! LISTEN TO ME! COME BACK HERE!!” he hollered. “KARMA WILL CATCH UP TO YOU, SOUDA!”

“See ya!”

Finally, he was out of range of the other man and allowed himself to stop to catch his breath. He put his hands on his knees and glanced around the area with a toothy grin on his face. “Heh heh. Might as well start calling me Super High School Level Good Luck now! That was pretty awesome!”

It was around then that he heard another Monokuma announcement, and turned up eyes towards a small monitor. The damn things were everywhere. “The score is 8-7, black team! Keep up the good work, you bastards!” The screen blinked off. Souda straightened himself up and scanned his environment. More jungle. Hopefully this time no one was around to find him.

He began moving forward again for a few minutes before something unnatural caught his eye. A distinctive black and white bear could be seen hanging on a tree trunk, just high enough for him to jump up and take down.  “Hell yeah! Super luck!” he exclaimed. Souda scrambled forwards before another black shape in the trees caused him to freeze in place like a deer in the headlights. It was the purple that gave away the stranger’s identity.

“T-Tanaka!” he stammered.

“…Greetings, teammate.” The breeder brushed aside some palm branches and allowed himself to come into view. The two stood about 15 feet apart.

The mechanic put a hand up to his forehead. “Jeez kid, I didn’t even hear over there!”

“The trick is to move through the jungle like a panther, not a rampaging elephant in musth, that’s why,” he said. “Are you here for the same prize I just discovered? I am amazed you found it without the aid of the Evil Fourth Eye.”

His pink eyes darted up at the tree trunk and back. “What? Y-Yeah, of course.”

Tanaka eyed him curiously. “You seem a bit on edge. What’s the matter?”

He stiffened at his words. “Well, _I_ saw that thing first, and I’m sure as hell not gonna let _you_ take it. It’s mine.”

“We’re on the same team, you fool. I can deliver this all the way back to our base and check on the Four Dark Gods at the same time, if you would prefer to stay here and keep searching.”

He raised his voice. “No way! You’re just gonna go and bring it to Sonia-san!”

 Tanaka squinted at the mechanic. “Why on earth would I do that? The princess isn’t on our team.” He paused for a moment before coming to a realization. “You… you devil! Are you _sabotaging_ our game for the sake of your frivolous crush?”

Souda pointed a thumb at his chest.  “Yeah, because if I bring one of those Monokumas back to Sonia, she’s gonna be like, ‘Wow, _Tanaka_ didn’t think to bring me one of those! What an asshole!’”

That one hit a nerve. “She does not speak like that! Silence that forked tongue of yours before I end you!” he hissed. “I cannot let you ruin this game for all of us! I will _not_ allow myself to become that black and white ursine’s slave for an entire day!”

“Try and stop me!” He immediately bolted towards the dangling Monokuma and Tanaka was quickly on his tail. Right as Souda was able to jump up and snatch his prize, the breeder was right on him and was able to swiftly trip the mechanic with his scarf, sending the object tumbling a few feet away. He jumped on top of it like a fumbled football and quickly twisted himself back on his feet, but not before Souda had leapt forward and wrapped his arms around his ankles.

He snarled. “Get your filthy hands off of me!”

“Not until you give me _that_!” he said, grasping up at one of Tanaka’s pant legs. The breeder managed to push him away with a single boot and was able to make it a few yards before Souda was right behind him again. He swung around to face his opponent and soon both of them had a strong grip on one side of the fake Monokuma.

Suddenly, before either of them could open their mouths to throw insults at one another again, a distinctive _*snap*_ that Souda definitely recognized echoed through their surroundings. The two of them had been so preoccupied in their fight that they had failed to notice the expertly-crafted Rube Goldberg-esque trap that they had both just set off.

With barely any warning, a pair of long net-like objects launched from opposite directions came careening towards them, weighted on the ends, and hit them with enough force that they had the breath knocked out of them as they were slammed into one another. The weights caused the ends of the nets to wrap tightly around their chest and legs, and now with their legs locked and arms pinned at their sides, the pair lost their balance and toppled over like a stiff board with Souda the unfortunate person on the bottom.

“GYUH!!” he cried as he hit the ground beneath the breeder, whose teeth were also gritted in pain after the hard landing. Upon realizing their circumstances their first instinct was to get away from one another, but with the ropes bound and knotted as tightly as they were, it was impossible. “Ghk…! I can’t move! N…No way! No FUCKIN’ way that this just happened! Are you serious?!”

“I-Impossible! For one such as myself to be caught offguard by one of that earthly demon’s traps! Could this truly be the will of causality?!”

Souda squirmed under the weight of the other, his voice strained. “Ugyaaahh! You’re crushing me! You should be the one down here, you’re bigger than me!” He tried shifting his weight off until Tanaka grew tired of his struggling and rolled over to flip places with him.

“…Happy now?!” The two had the tips of their noses pressed together as they glowered at one another.

“No, actually, not at all! We’re fucking trapped together and there’s not a single soul even remotely close to us to get us outta here. This is the worst thing I could have ever imagined!”

“I certainly don’t disagree.” The two held their faces away from each other, ending up positioned awkwardly with their chins on each other’s shoulders. Their chests rose and fell rhythmically as they recovered from the initial shock.

Not long after, an irritating, hammy voice could be heard approaching the two unfortunate students. “Upupupu! What have we here?”

“Ah! Monokuma!” Souda exclaimed, craning his neck up at the bear with pleading eyes. “You can get us out of here!”

The bear simply chuckled and cocked his head at them. “My, oh my! What have we here? Two dashing young gentlemen entwined together in a secret forest grove, their bodies glistening with sweat in the steamy jungle air! Dare I mention the subtext here? Shall I bring the roses?”

The color drained from Souda’s face, his entire body bristling. “…AAAAAAARGGHH!! D-Don’t even come over here if you’re just gonna be gross! Send someone else!” Even the breeder sported a pained expression as he slowly turned his head to the side.

“But what a fine coincidence, indeed! Two birds with one stone! I was watching your little scuffle on the surveillance cameras and couldn’t believe my beary eyes. You realize these traps were only designed to accommodate one person, right?”

“Release us at once, you fiend,” Tanaka said coolly.

Monokuma waddled towards the two helpless boys and put a single foot on Souda’s shoulder, rocking them gently. “Mmmm… nyeh. I don’t think I will. This is kinda entertaining, don’t you think?”

“NO!!” Souda shrieked, causing his companion to wince as he had practically screamed into his ear.

He continued. “…And by the way, I saw what happened with you and Nidai! How very lucky of you to escape only to be caught shortly after, Mr. Super High School Level Good Luck #2!”

“…You heard that?!”

“Fool, didn’t I just say I’ve been watching you on the surveillance cameras? Of course I did! And I heard the rest, too! I don’t take too kindly to rule breakers and saboteurs, young man!” Souda’s expression immediately turned to guilt as his eyes met with Tanaka’s, whose icy glare could have killed a man.

“But…”

“I think I’ll leave all you guys where you are until each and every last one of the hidden Monokumas are found. I hope your teammates are competent!” The bear began sauntering away.

“Hey! You can’t leave us like this!” He struggled against the ropes once more.

Monokuma waved a single arm around in an exaggerated circle and faded into the trees. “See ya around!”

Souda continued to thrash about, irritating the breeder, whose face was already reddened out of frustration. “Gh…! Quit squirming! You’re driving your knees into my thighs!”

He thrashed a bit more before growing exhausted and eventually letting himself fall limply across Tanaka. “This is hell. I’m in hell. I knew it, I’ve been dead this whole time.”

“Oh stop it. They can’t leave us here forever. The least you can do is not complain for the entire duration.”

“We might be here till the sun goes down! It’s like noon!”

“Then I would suggest you make yourself comfortable.”

He curled his lip into a grimace. “…Gross! Ughh! Don’t be sayin’ weird stuff to me!”

The breeder ignored his comment. “…If only I had the Four Dark Gods of Destruction in my possession, I could have sent them for assistance!”

“Whatever! We’ll just yell for help!” Souda lifted his head and began to holler with as much force as he could muster, hoping someone besides the incapacitated Nidai would be near enough to hear them. Tanaka ended up joining him, his deeper baritone contrasting with the voice of the mechanic. Eventually, they stopped to listen.

Nothing. It was possible that the dense foliage was blocking a majority of the sound.

The breeder growled. “…If only my I could tap into my full power, I would easily be able to break these cursed bindings! It seems that the mere act of being in contact with you is draining me of my life force.”

“Oh, shut up!” Souda inhaled deeply to call for help again before Tanaka nudged him.

“That’s enough. You’re going to render me deaf. We’ll try again later.”

“Nghhh… fuck!” He shoved his face into the breeder’s shoulder and released a muffled scream into his jacket.

“…Don’t get drool on my clothing, you mongrel!” Tanaka said, shifting uncomfortably. The petty bickering continued for what seemed like forever until the two finally gave up and relaxed. Besides the rustling of leaves and hum of insects, the only noise they could hear was the uncomfortable sound of their hot breath on each other’s necks. The humid, tropical air certainly didn’t make their situation any better, only serving to make them even more miserable than they already were. Luckily, the environment they were in was well-shaded.

Souda was the first to break their short-lived silence. “Your scarf smells like a hamster. Like four of ‘em.”

Tanaka exhaled deeply. “If you’re going to open your mouth to speak, don’t bore me with inane comments.”

“It’s makin’ my eyes water.”

“…You’re one to talk. You hair smells as though you’ve been conditioning it with motor oil.”

“What?! Quit smelling my hair!”

“Then keep it out of my face.”

 “ _Tanakaaa!”_

“Souda.”

“Stop it!”

It continued like this for many more minutes. It was exhausting just to listen to had anyone been nearby to hear them. But little did they realize over the sound of their own voices that someone _was_ approaching, although perhaps not quite the type of person they were hoping it would be.

The girl in the orange kimono stopped in her tracks as she happened upon the scene, followed by a few moments of awkward silence. “Umm… Big Bro Souda? Big Bro Tanaka? Pfft… _kyahahaha!!_ What happened _here_?!” she giggled.

“Saionji, listen. You gotta help us. I’ll do anything,” Souda begged. “Monokuma’s got traps everywhere and we fucked up. Listen, if you get us out, I’ll buy you all the gummies you could ever want. Literally unlimited gummies!”

“Oh please! Like I couldn’t just have that pig bitch Tsumiki do that for me. I’m here for _this_.”

“Huh?” They watched as Saionji daintily stepped over towards the object they had been fighting over before their unfortunate capture. “Hey! You better not take that!”

“Don’t you dare, you foul-mouthed child!” Tanaka said. “That belongs to the black team!”

“Oh really? Then why is it just sitting out here asking for me to take it?” She picked it up off the ground and walked back over to the two boys, prodding them with it cruelly. “Finders keepers! Loser weepers! Have fun being Monokuma’s bitch tomorrow!” She stuck out her tongue and began skipping away.

“HEY! AT LEAST TELL SOMEONE WE’RE HERE!” Souda shouted after her to no avail.

“Don’t bother. She won’t.”

 “Ughhh! Why does this keep happening?!” Souda whined. “There goes my chance. I blew it. Sonia-san’s gonna hate me forever now.”

“Her team is still getting the point for that thing. I have a feeling she is going to remain quite neutral towards you, or perhaps slightly sub-neutral.”

“Oh ya? I don’t need your advice about Sonia-san,” he sneered.

Tanaka raised his brow. “Are you quite certain about that?” It wasn’t too long after that Monokuma’s voice came over the speaker and interrupted them to announce another point towards the opposing team, which had now apparently taken the lead.

Souda grumbled softly, relaxing his body somewhat. “…What kinda advice we talkin’ about?”

“Like how not to irritate her with everything you say and do.”

He lifted himself up a bit and looked down at the breeder. “What? Do I seriously do that?”

“Souda, are you daft? You drive her absolutely mad. All you’ve ever done is get on her nerves,” he said matter-of-factly.

The mechanic’s expression crinkled up as his voice grew quiet. “…Really?” He suddenly had that distinctive look that he could break into tears at any moment and that was nothing Tanaka was ready to deal with while they were tied together face-to-face. He softened his tone.

“…A little. You’re just, how do I say… very forward. You’re overbearing at times. Like a puppy who doesn’t know better.”

“So I’m a puppy…” he said. “But puppies are good, right? People like puppies! What am I doing wrong?”

He stopped to think. “I may have worded that incorrectly. You’re like… you’re like a very large, adult dog who still acts like a puppy, and when you jump on people, they tend to not enjoy that. You have to learn how to restrain yourself,” he said, lifting his head upwards. “…Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you what is usually done to male dogs with behavioral problems.”

He rested his chin back on Tanaka’s shoulder. “…I guess that kinda makes sense.” He let himself breathe a little bit, his chest moving up and down slowly as he relaxed on top of the other boy. “So it’s all my fault, huh…”

“No, Souda, you’re not…” He had to pause for a few moments and close his eyes to allow the words to come out of his mouth. “…You’re not a bad human being. Your intentions are the right place.”

“Yeah…?”

 “…However, you are highly aggressive, overly competitive, and stubborn as all hell.”

Souda responded with a long, high-pitched noise through his closed lips.

“…But that’s not to say you don’t have positive qualities as well. I mean, I can only assume.”

He took a deep breath. “So what are ya sayin’?”

For Tanaka, the Super High School Level Breeder, training animals was a piece of cake. But humans? This was another level of difficulty. He struggled to find the right words without sounding too insensitive, since Souda’s ego was rather fragile. “What I’m saying is… perhaps if you allowed yourself to relax a bit and come onto others less intensely, it would be of help. I, personally, choose to distance myself from common mortals because my poisonous aura would certainly bring death upon the ill-prepared. In fact, you are in grave danger at the moment just by being in such close contact with me. This is an especially unfortunate circumstance.”

“Yeah, I’m kinda feeling like death right now,” he said flatly.

“…But heed my advice, petulant one.” He looked the mechanic directly in the eyes. “The princess will begin to see you more favorably if you are not hovering about her like a giant, yellow mosquito at every opportunity. Let her do as she pleases. If you wish to behave more respectably, you must learn to give others their space.”

“Uh huh…” Souda groaned softly on top of the other person, his brow furrowing into a troubled expression. The corners of his mouth soon curled into a half-smile. “Heh… this ain’t exactly a good start to giving others their space, wouldn’t ya say?” He shifted his body against the breeder amidst the tangle of ropes.

“Hah… I suppose this is not ideal,” Tanaka tilted his head up. Suddenly, it felt as though the tense atmosphere had lifted somewhat. They rested against each other calmly for a few short moments, unsure what to say to one another next.

Souda abruptly forced himself up again and positioned his head over the breeder’s face. “Hey wait a minute. I’m layin’ here getting advice on how to be less over-the-top from the self-proclaimed ‘Ascendent Ruler of Ice’ himself. Somethin’s wrong with this picture.”

The breeder smirked. “Are you implying that I, the Great Gundam Tanaka, Conqueror of the Devil Dog, Dark Lord and heir to the throne of Hell, am over the top? Frankly, I don’t believe you.”

He laughed unexpectedly through his nose. “Oh, shut your fuckin’ mouth. You’re embarrassing.” He rested his head back down on the breeder’s shoulder and attempted to hide his crooked smile. Tanaka would admit to himself that it felt rather good to make someone laugh.

As they began to relax, the dappled sunlight filtered through the leaves overhead. Even in the mostly shaded forest, the mid-afternoon heat permeated through the trees, and it didn’t help that the two boys were dressed in enough layers for Siberian winter. If anything now, the heat was making them more miserable than anything else. They decided to shout for help a few more times, with no results. Surely someone would notice soon that they had been missing for quite some time. Eventually, Souda actually allowed his eyes to close out of boredom, and Tanaka followed suit shortly after. They lost track of time as they laid on the forest floor.

Their peaceful silence was interrupted a while later when one of the nearby monitors blinked back on. “BLACK TEAM 12! WHITE TEAM 12! ONE MONOKUMA REMAINS! GET YOUR ASSES MOVING!” The screen went black.

Souda opened his eyes lazily. “What team are we on, again?”

“…Are you serious right now, Souda?” Luckily, they didn’t have much time to quarrel before they heard footsteps approaching.

The stranger brushed aside some leaves and nearly jumped upon discovering the two boys tangled together on the jungle floor. “…Whoa!” The pair craned their heads up to see none other than Hajime Hinata standing over them a few feet away.

Hinata put a hand up to his tie and pulled on it out of nervous habit, looking down at his teammates with a bewildered expression on his face. “Uhhh…” He raised his index finger as he tried to form words in his head. “H…How long have you been here?”

Souda’s eyes lit up at the sound of him, his enlarged pupils giving him that signature puppy-dog face. “Oh man, Hinata! You’re a lifesaver! We’ve been here literally forever. Like, like a fortnight maybe. That’s a word you would say, isn’t it, Mr. Dark Lord?” He looked down at the breeder.

“A fortnight is two weeks, Souda.”

“Yah, well that’s about what it felt like,” he said. He turned his head back up at Hinata. “Please get us out of here. That’s what soul friends are for, right?”

“We haven’t seen you guys since we started!” Hinata said, a twinge of concern in his voice. He began digging through his pockets. “Here, I think I’ve got something on me from the Monomono machine that could cut those ropes. We could have used you guys this whole time, you know. Mioda wasn’t looking where she was going either and fell in this huge pit set by Monokuma, so we were down by three people. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah, I kinda could,” he answered.

Hinata had taken a sharp object out of his pocket and began working at the ropes. He grunted as he hacked through the fibers. “…Dammit, this thing is tough! What the hell is wrong with that Monokuma to think up this kinda stuff?” It took quite a few cuts to get it to a point where it could be slipped off. As soon as Souda and Tanaka could once again move their arms, they broke away from each other and jumped to their feet. They stood up and stretched their stiff limbs after being restrained for a good chunk of the day and brushed off the dirt and leaves stuck to their clothing.

The three boys now stood together in the middle of the jungle. “Heh heh… well, that was a weird afternoon,” Souda laughed nervously, attempting to lighten the mood like he always did. “Had my fill of _you_ for a while, anyway.”

Tanaka nodded his head to the side. “Yes, that’s quite enough for one day. I could use a brief respite.”

Hinata came up between the two and put his hands on their shoulders. “So, what do you guys say, should we go find that last-“

He wasn’t able to finish before Monokuma’s voice came screeching back on the speakers. “UPUPUPU! WHITE TEAM GETS THE LAST POINT! CONGRATS TO THE VICTORS! GET BACK TO THE BEACH, YOU BASTARDS!”

Hinata’s arms fell back down to his sides. “…Alright. That’s fine too. Let’s start heading back, I guess.” You could practically hear the defeat in his voice. The two boys who had been out of commission the entire game shrugged at each other and began following Hinata out of the jungle.

It took a while for everyone to gather back at the starting point where Monokuma had first explained the rules to them, and the trio of boys were amongst the last to arrive. Nidai could be seen on the other side giving Souda a disappointed scowl for his earlier abandonment. Tanaka, upon seeing his Four Dark Gods again, immediately swooped down by the stump where they had been resting and was relieved to see that they were all okay. They quickly scurried back into his scarf.

“It’s about diddly-darn time,” Monokuma said mockingly, walking over to Hinata and poking him in the knees. He whirled around at Souda and Tanaka and held out his arms. “Hey! You’re free! You boys have fun this afternoon?” He shuffled towards them.

“Come over here and I’ll punt ya,” Souda said.

“Rude. That’s alright, I’ll whip you losers into shape tomorrow. I got you all day. Upupupupu!” A collective groan was heard from the losing team.

“At least we can all agree this was a fair contest, am I correct? Even our side lost a few players to Monokuma’s traps,” Togami said.

Monokuma turned around. “Fair? Aaah-hahahahahaaa!” he wheezed.

“W…What now?” Hinata asked.

“Oh you nice, innocent kids, don’t make me laugh! This whole thing was completely rigged from the start! Upupupupu!” The students glanced around at each other with baffled expressions.

“Rigged…? You _rigged_ our game?! Are you kidding me?! How can you even _justify_ that?” Koizumi spoke from the losing team’s side.

Monokuma stopped laughing and straightened himself out. “…Don’t look at me. Look at _that_ guy.” He pointed a rounded finger at Komaeda. Everyone’s eyes immediately settled on the white-haired boy, who simply pointed to himself and mouthed the word “ _me?”_ with wide eyes.

“Komaeda…? What the hell did you do?!” Hinata stepped forward.

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that, since I don’t remember doing anything,” he said simply. Hinata opened his mouth to retort, but Monokuma spoke up first.

“He didn’t _physically_ do anything,” he said. “But he’s Super High School Level Good Luck! Of course his team won! Hahahahahaa! I can’t believe you black team losers even tried! You stupid idiots!”

The white team, while not exactly pleased at the method of winning, _did_ feel thankful for their victory. Nidai attempted to lighten the mood by going down the line of students and hi-fiving each and every one of his teammates, with Owari offering the most enthusiastic response at the end of the line in the form of a leaping hi-five back. The students of the black team, however, had various looks on their faces ranging from incredulousness to downright fury.

 “Then all of our work was for nothing…” Nanami trailed off.

Monokuma continued laughing. “Of course! The game was decided as soon as the teams were! It was basically a lottery. The rest was just a little something to keep me entertained all day!”

Hinata slowly slid a hand up his face and sighed heavily out his nose. “I’m… I’m… I’m done. That’s it. I’m out. I can’t do this anymore. I’m going back to my cottage.” He whirled around and began walking away.

“Hinataaa-!” Souda yelled after his friend.

“GOODBYE!”

 “Ibuki did her best, she really did! Until she got herself caught up in some kind of Acme-style trap…! Are you telling me Ibuki didn’t even need to be out there if the white team was gonna win anyway?”

Tanaka and Souda, with widened eyes, had suddenly realized that had also meant _they_ had been wandering around the island for no reason. They’d been caught up in Monokuma’s trap together all afternoon… _for no reason_. They gradually turned halfway towards one another with a glazed-over look on both of their faces. Tanaka shook his head slowly, in utter defeat.

Kuzuryuu took a step towards Komaeda, his face red with rage. “You better make sure your doors are locked tonight, kid, because I’m gonna FUCKING _KILL_ YOU!!” Pekoyama calmly seized him by the collar and jerked him back.

Monokuma positioned himself into the middle of the two groups again. “Hey hey, look at it this way. You won’t fall for the same trick twice, right? But the looks of despair on all your faces just now was priceless!”

The students groaned and began walking away from the beach. They attempted to ignore the bear as he called after them.

 “Hey! Listen up, you losers! I’ll be waking you up bright and early tomorrow for the start of my 24 hours of royal treatment! So get a good night’s sleep because you’re gonna need it!”

The remaining players on the losing team ended up catching up to Hinata on their way back and marched along at a slower pace than the rest. They fell far behind the others as they made their way back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. They were unnaturally quiet, though Mioda, in good spirits as always, kept the other girls busy with her never-ending chatter. Hinata and Kuzuryuu, who had worked their butts off running around the entire island that afternoon only to find out they had done it for nothing, were especially snippy when the other two boys attempted to make conversation to them.

Hinata sighed. “…I’m sorry. I know I’m being kinda short with you guys, and I just wanna say I’m not mad at you. Let’s not let this get to our heads since it’s not our fault.”

“It’s that Monokuma fucker’s fault, that’s what. All that bullshit was because of him!” Kuzuryuu snapped.

“At least we can all agree on that,” Tanaka said.

As Hinata and Kuzuryuu began to converse with one another, Souda stealthily sidestepped over to Tanaka. The breeder kept his head facing forward, but shifted his gaze towards the mechanic. “…Yes, Souda? Haven’t I poisoned you enough today?”

 “I wanna ask you somethin’. About _you-know-who,_ ” Souda said with a lowered voice. Tanaka was about to ask who before the mechanic tilted his head towards Sonia, who was walking with the other girls far ahead of them.

His brow immediately flattened into a line on his forehead. “…What.”

“I’m keepin’ my distance, see? So like, the more I don’t talk to Sonia-san, the more she likes me?” His eyes lit up as the last few words came out of his mouth.

“Ah… no, I don’t believe the world is quite that simple. But it _is_ nice of you to not be a pest for once,” he said plainly.

Souda bit his lip and looked the other way. He made brief eye contact with Hinata, then looked up at Sonia in the distance before swinging his head back toward the breeder. “I got one more thing to ask. It’s important.”

He blinked. “Spit it out.”

He brought his lips up to the other’s ear, lowering his voice to a whisper. “ _Do you think Sonia’s smokin’ hot?”_

“…Wha-?! What kind of-!?“ He wrinkled his face at the wording of the question, but turned his head to the side and pulled up his muffler to conceal his expression.

Souda stepped back. “I just gotta know. Because if you say yes, I’m gonna have to beat the shit out of you later. And if you say no, I’m also gonna have to beat the shit outta you, because you’re wrong.”

“I… I’m not discussing this with you further, Souda.” He quickened his pace into a jog and broke away from the rest of the group.

Souda’s mouth curled into a sly smile as he yelled after him. “I’ll be waiting for that answer!” he said, and hopped over to join other two boys as they walked back.

The rest of the evening at the hotel was surprisingly peaceful as the students went back to being their usual selves. But to a certain princess, it had felt like something was different that night, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.

**Author's Note:**

> And here's the [pic](http://i1.pixiv.net/img41/img/okkun-8/43020548_p29.gif) I had mentioned above, from [this artist](http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=1306264).


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